Turning It Over | How I Created Abundance & Fulfillment

Photo & Film By Sarah Elizabeth

This time, last year, we were barely weeks into one of the most confusing situations. The world came to a crashing halt, and we were all in pretty much the same boat: holding our breath and waiting. March was extremely anxiety inducing. I couldn’t imagine what was about to happen in my business, let alone financially. I could barely pay my bills, even with a side job, along with whatever side photography work I could get. I was already struggling before this worldwide halt, now what? 

In April 2020, I decided for the last time to choose myself even in the unfortunate times we were faced with. My peace and fulfillment over all else, became the most important thing to me when faced with the stripped down version of life that was handed to us. I left my part time job, which was giving me a false sense of financial stability and security, but in reality was just holding me back from DOING the damn thing with my photography business. I remember leaving that job and the fear inside of me stirring up like it always had when I couldn’t picture how life was going to turn out. A little tornado of warm anxiety and stone cold fear, steadily gaining speed and power, ripping my sanity to shreds. And in my next sharp, restricting breath I said a prayer that I’ll never forget, because for the first time in my life I FELT it: “God, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do, I have no idea where you are taking me, but I trust you with all of my heart. Lead the way.” And it sounds much too magical to be true, but what happened next I couldn’t have imagined for myself... I stopped worrying. For the next 24 hours, I turned to God when I would feel that burning fear begin to form in my belly again. And it would vanish. I practiced this for weeks, and imperfectly found myself feeling less fear. I was improving. The more I trusted, and turned it over, the better I felt, but I had to practice.

First and foremost, I chose to dive deeper into emotional trauma healing through cranioSacral work and Human Design with Aubrey at Divine Radiance Healing. At the same time, I hit the ground running with updating my websites, creating workable templates/systems to follow for my business to thrive without a ton of effort on my part. I streamlined and I just kept trusting. I asked God every day what He was to have me be, and if pursuing photography wasn’t my path, then I prayed to have the courage to follow whatever path was laid out for me. I found myself in moments of blissful deep knowing and confidence in my path and my ability to make a life for myself, regardless of what career was meant for me to pursue. I just simply remained open, flexible and let go of my rigidness in what I imagined for myself. And weeks became busier and clients were putting money down on future dates and signing contracts and my ideal client was turning up and connections were being made. Suddenly, I was months in and feeling (if I’m honest) happily exhausted because I had been so busy that I failed to take time for myself to rest. My business was in full swing in only a short couple months.

Fast forward to today, about a year later and my life has been set into a new perspective; a whole new path. I have healed so much emotional and physical trauma through CST, HD and God. I can see that my idea of what is possible for me has drastically changed and grown from a limiting belief system, to one with endless possibility. In short (and this is not a brag but a testimony), I doubled my abundance for 2020 and am on track to triple that for 2021, all while opening a studio. I never believed that financial fear could leave me, I felt deeply unworthy of monetary success and emotional fulfillment in my career. And the moment I gave it to God, was the moment I received everything I didn’t know I could attain.  It really was that simple, but it took me over a decade of practice and work to build that kind of trust and knowing with God. And as I sit here in reflection of the last 365 days, I understand now more than ever that I was in my own way of happiness, ease and joy. It’s my humanness that threw the hurdle into my own path for so many years. God always had my back, and always will. 

So, today I find my direction and my fulfillment through this power, the one who is directing us away from misery, fear, and calamity, and paving a path of everlasting love and light. We are born to access this. We just have to open our hearts and let go of our human limitations. Through God, all things are possible, even the things we imagine are beyond our wildest dreams.

xx Alaxandra